Tag Archives: focus

How to Do Anything That Scares You

This summer a friend called and asked if my son and I wanted to join her family with some other friends on a whitewater river FUN-yaking tour.

Some people step out of their comfort zone when they give a presentation or take a business risk. For me, it happens taking any serious (and my definition of serious has an admittedly low bar) physical adventure. But, really how difficult can a river trip called, “FUN-yaking” be? Feel the fear and do it anyway, right!

So yay, I pictured a lazy river ride like this:



And said, “We are in?!”

On the day of our fun adventure, I started to feel a little worried when we arrived at the site, and there were helmet and life vest fittings involved. But this again, makes perfect sense. They were a reputable company, right? So safety first and of course, liability issues and all. (Do I even know how to kayak?)

Then the nice lady in charge began her safety presentation…including techniques on breaking free if we got stuck on a rock (or I should say I, because you run solo on a fun-yak just you and the beautiful frickin’ river).

She mentioned that you were not to get out of your kayak (where’s the fun prefix?) under any circumstances. It was when she explained how to keep still on your back with arms and legs up when if you flipped over to avoid getting trapped between two rocks and drowning that I was convinced we were headed for this:


And that is pretty much the picture (slight hyperbole), I carried for the bus ride to the launch site and I continued feeling panicked worried until we boarded our fun-yaks and started paddling.

As it turned out, the conditions weren’t quite a river of glass, but were obviously not even close to the Class 5 rapids I was anticipating. A good work out with some fun and easy waves. I did (like everyone) get stuck on a few rock because the water was low in spots, but I used the graceless shimmy technique I learned during the safety lesson (or got help from another fun-yaker) and was on my way. Everyone had a blast and I was all in for trying one of the whitewater rafting trips (Class 3 and 4) that they also run on the river.

My fun-yaking experience reminds me of what happens when we pursue big, meaningful work or take other life risks that take us out of our comfort zone. Going for it always seems like a great idea to start. Then when it is time to take action, fear sets in and you imagine overwhelming and insurmountable circumstances (most of the time not supported by fact). But if you take action, you find it’s almost always scariest before you start. Though you may hit obstacles, you figure it out and use what you know (or get help) to move toward your goal (of getting out of the fun-yak as quickly as possible – kidding.)

Take 5

What’s the easiest way to pursue a dream that scares you? It’s usually scariest before you start, so start taking small actions as soon as you can. 

Is there a dream you would like to pursue, but feels overwhelming? Identify one small action you can take toward it today.

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10 Ways to Take Up Space in Your Busy Life

If you don’t choose how you spend your time, someone else will spend it for you. -Author Unknown

Female feet closeup of woman standing at the sandy beach next to the shell heart

I was chatting with a friend recently who shared that she never had time to pursue her art, bemoaning her endless to-do list and all the obligations pulling at her.

I think most of us have experienced her frustration. Life, after all, is busy. Often incredibly so. Daily work, family, volunteering and other commitments can make days and (gulp) years pass quickly, leaving little time for long-dormant personal passions and dreams. This is a familiar mantra for my peers: women with kids/teens still at home and often also running a business or working in a corporate setting. This was different though. My friend’s struggle gave me significant pause because she was in her late 60’s and has been an empty nester for quite some time. Wow…the busyness really never ends, was my immediate response.

What she shared, reminded me (again) how easy it is to be lulled into waiting for the elusive right time to pursue our boldest desires or simply nurture ourselves. And that the truth is that the only perfect life phase for living fully into who we are starts today. If you, like my friend, are feeling squeezed out of your own life, here are some micro-habits to get you started on a path of intentionally taking up space and reclaiming your life:

  1. Express gratitude for one way you take up space today. It doesn’t matter how big or small it seems; identify one way that you express who you are in your life right now.
  2. Make time for brief moments of solitude. Even just a few minutes during the day can help you connect to yourself rather than being caught up in outside forces.
  3. Ask the Big Questions. Begin consciously considering what you want your life to be about, what your passions are, and what you would regret not pursuing. The answers to these questions should drive how you spend your time.
  4. Quit. If you are too busy to pursue what is most meaningful to you (or to take the time to figure out what that is), something has got to go. Evaluate your current optional commitments; begin by cutting out those that drain you.
  5. Create art. Buy a small journal or notebook just for self-expression. It will be one of the best purchases you will ever make. Spend even one minute a day writing or drawing a picture. No directions required.
  6. Make a Rote Response Card. Sometimes we end up compromising who we are because it is hard to say no. Write down on a small card your response to requests for your time or an opinion you are not prepared to give. Doesn’t have to be eloquent—“Huh, I’ll have to think about that and let you know” works.
  7. Initiate juicy, meaningful conversations in unlikely places. Shake things up…be determined to bring big ideas or something you are passionate about into sidelines conversation or while waiting in line at Starbucks. This is life-changing and I guarantee you will feel empowered and see humans differently when you do this regularly.
  8. Re-connect to a childhood passion. Think about what you loved to do as a kid as it can be a clue to your truest expressions.
  9. Express your uniqueness daily. Create a daily practice of doing or saying something that expresses you without regard to its popularity or commonality. It can be an expression of a core value, as simple as a wardrobe choice, or declining a social engagement that will leave you feeling drained.
  10. Make time to do absolutely nothing. Schedule time with no agenda other than to do whatever you want in that moment.

Take 5

Taking up space is meant to be fun and freeing not a burdensome addition to your to-do list. Start by choosing one of the ideas above or try this favorite of mine:

Give yourself room to play. Schedule a date with yourself to do something outside of your normal routine that expresses who you are or simply makes you feel a little giddy. Take photos in the city; Pretend you’re a screenwriter and spend the morning jotting down the characters in your movie; Grab a sketchbook and make a graffiti design; Research an EarthWatch expedition; Go for a run in a strange town…or you name it.  

xo Paula

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