Tag Archives: career

Be the Woman You Want Her to Become

Be the change you wish to see in the world. -Mahatma Ghandi

shutterstock_33451507Be the woman you want her to become. During a conversation recently with a friend about girl empowerment I shared what had been bothering me for a while,

“Did you ever notice that we invest so much time in ensuring our daughters pursue their dreams while most of us ignore our own or relegate our truest dreams to the back burner?”

She had noticed the same thing.

“What message does that send our girls and our boys about the importance of our desires and theirs too?”

If you ask any parent (or child), they will confirm that it is what we model in action that sends the most powerful message to young people Pursuing your dreams wholeheartedly isn’t selfish but is honoring Life and what you are designed to give to the world. It is speaking the truth in action that your life and time deserve the same level of attention and care as each member of your family.

What I have also noticed is that as children get older, they express significant pride in their parent’s professional accomplishments and impact on the world.

Take up space in your own life for the world’s sake and to give the girls and boys that are watching permission to do the same. 

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When Your Potential Ends

Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. -Nido Qubein*

I am conducting research as part of my work on a personal development program for young adults. In one of the books, I am reading (more precisely listening to on Audible) the author provides insight into the environment and characteristics that determine success in school and life. To illustrate the weaknesses of one model, he shares a story about a teen who attended a NYC charter high school. The student, Tony, did quite well academically in the highly-structured environment of the charter school and was accepted to a four-year university.

But when he started college, Tony floundered and after a couple of tries, eventually dropped out for good. Using Tony’s story, the author highlighted what was missing from this particular charter school and advocating for a formula that emphasizes traits like grit rather than a traditional model focused almost exclusively on intellectual/academic success.

During his research, the author interviewed and quotes Tony, now in his late 20’s and working at an AT&T call center. With resignation, Tony sighs,

“I really had a lot of potential.”

…and then not missing a beat the author continues with his growth mindset hypothesis.

And that’s when my next door neighbors may have heard my rant. 

Wait! What do you mean had? Had?

Tony is 28 years old; his dreams and the possibilities for his life are not in the past tense. Given the difficult circumstances of his early years, he has done extraordinarily well. But still he has the potential to do much, much more if he chooses.

Tony doesn’t need to accept his current circumstances as fate because of his college/teenage struggles no matter his history, but particularly keeping in mind that he was likely still recovering from trauma.

How ironic that a text that is focused heavily on the growth mindset (the malleability of intelligence and success) implies that potential has an expiration date?

There are countless famous, historic and everyday examples of people hitting their stride in every decade of life, literally until 100 years old.

Tony’s potential ends when he decides it does. And so doesn’t yours.

Take 5: 

Your potential ends when you decide it does. Take two minutes and consider what you have the potential for (maybe it comes in the form of regret or a tinge of if only) by brainstorming answers to this question:

What would you do today if money, time, or the opinions of others were irrelevant? 

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*source for quote: brainyquotes.com

How to Rock Your Life

“When you make a decision the universe conspires to make it happen.” -Emerson.

Put yourself out there even a little and you may become a rock star …sometimes literally.

Yesterday this popped up in my feed and it made my day.

Two of the singers in this folk/country rock band are Reclaim Your Dreams workshop participants.) Nicole, third from the left, came to a workshop to explore her dreams and design her next move. Nicole is a polymath so her interests and skills were varied from intellectual to creative….always so hard to choose. Almost as an afterthought she shared during one “no limits” exercise that she had jotted down how she would love to sing more publicly …never performed but she sang for us when we asked.

Boy. Did she have chops. The weekly assignment for group was to set up a date to be the person living one of your dreams…An aspiring writer might go to a cafe and write for an hour. Someone considering starting a biz might brainstorm ideas. So why wouldn’t a rockstar sing?!

I connected Nicole with the talented Teresa who was the lead singer for Suppertime, a Reclaimer and a polymath too…and guess what? Teresa’s band happened to be looking for another singer. A few jam sessions later and …here they are.

Follow your heart’s desire, be honest about who you are – even a little if you are scared and “coincidences” like this will happen. Rock your Life.

#‎reclaimyourdreams‬ ‪#‎reclaimyourlife‬

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How to Start Fresh

Start freshI received a thank you note from an early adopter of the Reclaim Your Dreams movement.  Here is part of what she said,

Your enthusiasm, encouragement, and ideas have helped me in setting out on my new adventure…Often when I am strategizing about my new gig, I remind myself that I can start fresh… It was your suggestion to step back and consider what I would want to do if there were no constraints… I am not there yet, but I know this is a stepping stone. I’ve never let myself take the long view of my career. Scary, but so good.

Sometimes, we forget that we can start fresh – pursue a bold dream, scratch one book idea and start another, launch a brand new company, commit to a project that we believe in, make something right when we mess up, build new and deep friendships, create a new family of choice. But we can. It is a choice. It may not be easy, what’s your alternative? Beginning anew starts the moment we decide it does.

No matter where you are in your journey, a new beginning is just a question away. Start by listening to yourself – consider what it is you would love to do without constraints. You may be surprised at how clear your answer is.


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